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User blog:ElekingGudon/Chapter 2: Monsters and Mages (Dialogue Proof Read/Corrections)
Hello, so I have done a proof read of the dialogue in Chapter 2: Monsters and Mages of Godzilla Rulers of Earth Land. Similar to the last blog, I have made corrections to any spelling/punctuation errors, cut repeated words and make any line run a bit smoother. Similar to last time the underlined words and sentences are to indicate the corrections and changes made. On of main things I edited was the Dark Unicorn dialogue in terms of their motives. Mainly because it original somewhat comes of that are get revenging for their bosses, though I can't really see a dark guild behaving in that way, since Dark Unicorns relationship with the Oracion Seis was more of a servant-and-master relationship, and I would imagine Dark Unicorn would care about other outside of their guild and probably only served under the Oracion Seis for power. In the edit, I made it as though Dark Unicorn are getting revenge because had Nirvana not been destroyed by Fairy Tail and their allies, Dark Unicorn and the other guild serving under the Oracion Seis could have gained power over Fiore with Nirvana. On a small note, When I was reading and researching for the chapter, I noticed that Earth Land is spelt like 'Earthland' when its spelt like Earth Land, so I made that correction in the proof read below. Also got a link for it from the Fairy Tail wiki, https://fairytail.fandom.com/wiki/Earth_Land. I don't think its that big a deal, but I'd thought I'd add it in just in case. The first part of the chapter where Natsu, Lucy and Happy arrive in Hargeon seemed alright so I didn't do anything to that part. Godzilla meets Natsu and Lucy (Godzilla awakens and climsb out of the crater. He looks around a realises that he has shrunk. He panics but sees a deer staring at him.) Godzilla: What are you looking at?! (Deer runs off.) Godzilla: Wait...I can speak?! (Godzilla panics again) Godzilla: Calm down Goji, calm down. There must be an explanation for this. (Godzilla looks around and observes this new world.) Godzilla: Okay, now to find the others and find out what’s going on around here. (Godzilla senses humans coming this way and goes to hide. Natsu, Lucy and Happy come to the crash site.) Happy: Whoa! This thing is huge! Lucy: That’s an understatement! It’s ginormous! Happy: What’s could have made something this big? You got any ideas Natsu? Lucy: Natsu? You okay? Natsu: I smell something, over in those bushes. Godzilla: He can smell me?! This human possess acute senses too?! Natsu: Lucy! Duck! (Natsu and Lucy duck. An Axe comes flying towards them but misses.) Lucy: What the heck was that?! Dark Unicorn Leader: That would be us Girly. (Dark Unicorn reveals themselves) Happy: Hey! I know that symbol! They’re from Dark Unicorn! One of the dark guilds that worked under the Oracion Seis! Natsu: Oh yeah. Lucy: Hey, didn’t Ren and Eve from Blue Pegasus beat you guys a while back? Dark Unicorn Leader: Those two jerks humiliated us last time, but this time we’re gonna get our revenge. If you hadn’t defeated our bosses and destroyed Nirvana, we could’ve had the power to rule other all of Fiore! Natsu: This is gonna be almost too easy. (The battle begins. Natsu battles with the Dark Unicorn mages.) Natsu: Fire Dragon’s Roar! (More dark mages try to kill Natsu. Natsu attacks with his Dragon Slayer Magic.) Natsu: Fire Dragon’s Wing Attack! (Dark Mages surround Lucy.) Dark Mages: Ha! We gotta fight a girl?! What a joke! Dark Mages: Heh, she looks pretty hot though. Lucy: Ugh! What pervert! Open: Gate of the Maiden – Virgo! (Virgo is summoned) Virgo: Princess, do you wish to punish me? Dark Mages: Wow, look a maid! Dark Mages: Forget the girl! I’d go for her! Virgo: Do you wish me to punish these people? Lucy: Yeah, take these perverts downs! Virgo: As you wish. (Virgo battles the Dark Mages. Godzilla watches Natsu, Lucy and Virgo battling Dark Unicorn. He sees that Natsu and Lucy were being surrounded by the dark mages.) Dark Unicorn Leader: Guess we win this time. You’re gonna pay for destroying Nirvana. (Natsu senses something coming towards them.) Dark Unicorn Leader: Goodbye, Fairy Tail! (Godzilla roars and causes everyone to freeze.) Godzilla: HEY! (The mages turn to see Godzilla emerging from the bushes.) Godzilla: I’ll give you this one chance. Leave these humans be right now, before I am forced to use less civil means to persuade you. Dark Mages: B-boss, what d-do we d-do? Dark Unicorn Leader: Don’t be a bunch of cowards! It must be some kind of Fairy Tail trick! Dark Mages: A trick?! It looks pretty real to me! Dark Unicorn Leader: Silence! I’ll show you! (The Dark Unicorn Leader charged Godzilla with his sword and swings…only for the sword to break in half upon hitting Godzilla’s skin, shocking everyone.) Dark Unicorn Leader: O-oh, y-you are real. Godzilla: Obviously. (Godzilla tosses the Dark Unicorn Leader into a tree. He turns to the other mages.) Godzilla: So, are you going to go quietly? Or do you need a lesson like your friend? Dark Mages: NO SIR! WE’LL LEAVE QUIELTY! (Dark Unicorn leaves in fear. Godzilla turns to Natsu, Lucy, Happy and Virgo) Godzilla: Tell me…Where the Daiei am I? Lucy: Umm, y-you’re in F-Fiore. Godzilla: Fiore? Never heard of it. Happy: Ehhhh?! But you’re in Fiore right now! Godzilla: Wait…you can speak? Happy: Aye! ‘Cause I’m a cat!Godzilla: …I don’t care what you are. How can you talk? Happy: I don’t know. I just do. Virgo: Sir Happy has always been able to talk. Godzilla: Look, I don’t know what kind of sick joke you humans are trying to pull on me, but I swear if you don’t tell me what part of Terra I’m on, I swear to Tanaka I’ll- Natsu: Whoa whoa whoa! Time out here, what’s this about a tuna? Godzilla: I said Terra, not tuna you dam imbecile! Lucy: We’ve never heard of a place called ‘Terra’. We live in a place called Earth Land. Godzilla: ...Earth-what? Virgo: The Princess said you are in Earth Land. Godzilla: …What the fu-uhhhh. (Godzilla faints. Happy pokes his nose.) Happy: Yep. He’s fainted alright. What do we do now? Natsu: He saved our lives… (Natsu and Lucy are thinking about what to do with Godzilla. They turned towards each other.) Natsu: You thinking what I’m thinking? Lucy: Yeah. Virgo, can you find us a wagon? Oh, and a tarp? Virgo: As you wish. Godzilla at the Guild Hall (Godzilla begins to stir, hearing voices around him) Makarov: Lucy, what is this creature? Lucy: We don’t know Master, but is showed up out of nowhere and saved us at the last minute. Elfman: Whatever it is, it looks pretty manly. Lisanna: Umm, Big Brother Elf? I don’t think this counts as a man. Gray: Dang it flame breath! You just had to go and bring this-this thing in here didn’t you! Natsu: Hey! Watch it, ice princess! This guy saved our lives! We owed him enough to bring him here. Gray: He?! So it’s a he now?! Natsu: Yeah! He spoke to us so we knew it was he, so back off! Erza: Enough! Both of you! Natsu and Gray: Yes ma’am! Erza: Master, what do you suggest we do with it? Makarov: Hmm, if this creature did indeed save you, then it must have had a reason for doing so. We will wait until it awakens, then we will hopefully learn more about it. Erza: As you wish Master. Gildarts: Hey Natsu. I know I said to bring me a souvenir, but I wasn’t expecting this. Natsu: Yeah, I wasn’t planning on it. (Godzilla begins to wake up.) Wendy: Hey! It’s waking up! Carla: Wendy! Stay Away! We don’t know what it will do! Natsu: Everyone stand back! Give him some room! (Godzilla wakes up. He looks around the guild hall and sees the Fairy Tail mages looking at him.) Godzilla: …If you’ve got something to say, then quit wasting my time you gawkers. Fairy Tail mages: IT DOES TALK?! Godzilla: Argh, would you shut it?! You’re going to blow my damn ears out! Natsu: Told you. Gray: Shut it, Pinky. Elfman: So Manly! Lisanna: Goodness… Gajeel: Meh, I’ve seen weirder. Godzilla: Good Tanaka, off all the alternate worlds that exist, I just had to end in the most messed up one. Erza: Alternate worlds? You aren’t from here? (Godzilla is about to talk until he sees Makarov walking up to him.) Godzilla: So…mind telling me where I am? Makarov: Where are you? Why you’re in Fairy Tail. Category:Blog posts